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No Burden

by Lucy Dacus

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1.
I don't wanna be funny anymore. I don't wanna be funny anymore. Lately, I've been feeling like the odd man out. I hurt my friends saying things I don't mean out loud. I don't wanna be funny anymore. I got a too short skirt, maybe I can be the cute one. Is there room in the band? I don't need to be the front man. If not, then I'll be the biggest fan. I don't want the joke to be on me. Yeah, I'll buy the clothes and I'll be the best dressed. Yeah, I'll read the books and I'll be the smartest. I'll play guitar and I'll be the artist. Try not to laugh. I know it'll be hard. I'm serious. I know it's a first but… I don't wanna be funny anymore. Yeah, I'll be the gossip. Hear it through the grapevine. Pass it on, she's done with the old times. That funny girl doesn't wanna smile for a while.
2.
Is that a hearse or a limousine? It’s like I’ve seen it on the TV screen. She had the body of a beauty queen, put on a pedestal for good hygiene. I saw a girl that looked like you and I wanted to tell everyone to run away from her. Run away, run away! It couldn’t have been you but she had your eyes, made for faking smiles and turning tides, hands full of young men wrapped around her finger. They made you a throne out of magazines. They made you a crown out of peonies. She grew up as the pretty young thing, let them look up her skirt on the backyard swing. Oh no… Daddy told you to stay indoors and I can understand how a girl gets bored- too old to play and too young to mess around. She was a victim of the same disease that’s roaming the streets and bites when it please and makes us wanna live forever or die in infamy. I wanna live in a world where I can keep my doors wide open, but who knows what’d get in and what’d get out. One of these nights, I’ll sleep with the windows down, but not until that creature’s in the pound. No child is born knowing there’s an ugly or evil thing. When did my folks stop covering my eyes? Was it my brother who taught me about jealousy? Was it my sister who taught me about vanity? Was it that girl, that beautiful girl, thirsty for love and eager for attention, was it that girl who taught me about destruction? I wanna live in a world where I can keep my doors wide open, but who knows what’d get in and what’d get out?
3.
Slow dancing at low tide, low tide. Drawn to move by the moon, by the moon. And I see the seat next to yours is unoccupied and I was wondering if you’d let me come and sit by your side. I’ve got plenty of affection. I’d be glad to show you some time. Slow motion in double time, double time. You are all I can’t deny. And I see the seat next to yours is unoccupied and I was wondering if you’d let me come and sit by your side. I’ve got plenty of affection. I’d be glad to show you some time. What am I supposed to do with you in the room? What am I supposed to say with your green eyes on my red face? With your green eyes on my red face…
4.
You got yourself a bunch of bad habits. Not hard to see that love is a weakness. Seems to me, the way you understand it, is that you’re never gonna make it happen. I get smoke in my eyes every time I try to look you in the eye. Do I even know what your face looks like or just the cloud of smoke in it’s place? I’m trying to tell you something you might’ve heard before… You got a dollar in your pocket. You got a pebble in your sock and you’ve got a mind of gold you keep secret. I gotta hope that one day you’ll use it. I get tongue-tied every time I try to tell you what I think is right, cause I think it’s wrong when you sit around looking like a toy in the lost and found. I am telling you something you might’ve heard before and forgot on the spot. << ohs >> You’re a strange torpedo on the loose, strange torpedo on the loose, strange torpedo on the loose, and I’ll play the fool, and I’ll play the fool. I see the blood rushing to your head. Your words are slurred and your cheeks are red. You’d do anything to stop pretending. Can’t have regrets when you can’t remember them. You are one of a kind, I cannot lie. You’re wild when your body’s in overdrive. And I’m more surprised every time you’re alive when I check for your breath in the morning. You’re a strange torpedo on the loose, strange torpedo on the loose, strange torpedo on the loose, and I’ll play the fool, and I’ll play the fool. << ohs >> I thought you’d hit rock bottom, but I’m starting to think that it doesn’t exist cause you’ve been falling for so long and you haven’t hit anything solid yet. I thought you’d hit rock bottom, but I’m starting to think that it doesn’t exist cause you’ve been falling for so long and you haven’t hit anything solid yet. << ohs >> You’re a strange torpedo on the loose, strange torpedo on the loose, strange torpedo on the loose, strange torpedo on the loose, strange torpedo on the loose, strange torpedo on the loose, and I’ll play the fool, and I’ll play the fool, and I’ll play the fool.
5.
We woke up to the thunder. We huddled under covers. We didn’t say anything. If you hadn’t come over, I would be so much colder. I would be much less confused. And then the water came and washed it all away. It left me with nothing to say. Could not believe my eyes, I could not recognize your face in the rubble. Without you, I am surely the last of our kind. Without you, I am surely the last of my kind. We had a lot to measure. We had more past than pleasure, and time grows deep like weeds. You catch me when I’m falling. Sometimes, I wish you wouldn’t. I can’t tell if I’m learning. And then the water came and washed it all away. It left me with nothing to say. Could not believe my eyes. I could not recognize your face in the rubble. Without you I am surely the last of our kind. Without you I am surely the last of my kind. Without you I am surely the last of our kind. Without you I am surely the last of my kind. Without you I am surely the last of our kind. Without you I am surely the last of my kind.
6.
Trust 03:30
I set a fire on the stove and fed it every word I wrote. I watched my journals turn to smoke. Now all there is is what I spoke. I decided long ago to make the most of what I know and worry not of what I don’t. Perfect the art of letting go. Cause if I trust in something else then I don’t need to trust myself. I’ve learned a lot since I began, but I think I was wiser then. I’ve done too much and not enough in trying to put you above. I cannot tell if I’m in love or whose regard I’m thinking of. If beauty is the only way to make the nightmares go away, I’ll plant a garden in your brain and let the roots absorb the pain. I set a fire to my soul. I hope it ate til it was full. I set a fire to my soul. It burned me and it made me whole.
7.
Oh please, don’t make fun of me, of my crooked smile and my crowded teeth, of my pigeon feet, of my knobby knees. Well, I got more problems than not. But I feel fine and I made up my mind to live happily, feeling beautiful beneath the trees above a ground that’s solid at the core. Oh please, don’t make fun of me. Oh you know I get frightened so easily when I’m all alone and the floorboards creak. It’s those noises in the dark. But I am alive and I made up my mind to live fearlessly, running wild beneath the trees above a ground that’s solid at the core. Send my regards to the north my friends. I am built for the heat, I regret to admit. My fear of freezing keeps me on my feet and so far my whole life’s one long lucky streak. They say you should take the credit when it comes, but I believe in haunted wood. Oh please, don’t make fun of me. Oh I’ll try my best to tell it like it is, but I’ll bite my tongue and I’ll close my lips when nobody wants to hear it. But here we are and something about it doesn’t feel like an accident. We’re all looking for something to adore and how to survive the bending and breaking. I’ve walked on two legs since I was a child, but when did I realize that some ways out, past the horizon for thousands of miles there are people like me, walking on legs like mine? Coming closer and farther away. Coming to me and from my embrace. Hoping good comes from good and good comes from bad anyway. Oh please, don’t make fun of me with my heart of gold and my restless soul. Oh please, don’t make fun of me. This smile happens genuinely. If you want to see the world, you have to say goodbye cause a map does no good hanging on a wall. If you want to see the world, you have to say goodbye cause a map does no good hanging on a wall.
8.
You know it’s unfair that I am here and you are there. I feel short in the exchange- I show you mine you walk away. I’m wearing mine out on my sleeve, you’re wearing yours where I can’t see, but I’ll remember your face for years to come and wonder what you thought about when you got home. Honestly is like a kiss on the lips. Come closer and I’ll tell you exactly how it is. Now I’m barely breathing, I’m moving ahead, but if I see you smile, it’s gonna knock me dead. I’m stiff in my tracks trying to recover from whatever drug you used to put me under. I don’t believe in love at first sight. I don’t believe in love at first sight. It’s hard enough for me to not fall in love with every person I see. I let my mind get turned inside out just to see what the kids were laughing about. It wasn’t worth understanding something I could’ve gone my whole life not knowing. You know what they say about curiosity. That murderer had his chokehold on me. I ran away without looking back, but every now and then I want what I can’t have. I’m still thinking of a man from years ago- eyes open wide in the front row, dark features, leaning on the doorframe. I would’ve sold my soul to know his first name. I don’t believe in love at first sight. I don’t believe in love at first sight. I don’t believe in love at first sight. Maybe I would if you looked at me right.
9.
I came through the backyard. You let the garden die. How did I get here? How did I get here? What did I do to deserve this? The mountain was taller than I could’ve fathomed. I hardly believe it from here at the bottom. I can’t imagine why you’d want to be at the top. Oh my god, what will I do if you ever stop? Without you, I am surely the last of our kind. Without you, I am surely the last of my kind.

credits

released February 26, 2016

all songs written and sung by Lucy Dacus
engineered and mixed by Collin Pastore
produced by Lucy Dacus, Jacob Blizard, and Collin Pastore
drums by Hayden Cotcher
bass by Christine Moad
guitar by Jacob Blizard
mastered by Alan Douches at West West Side

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Lucy Dacus Richmond, Virginia

is making music out of Richmond, VA.

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